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Apple CEO Tim Cook is Gay and I’m Starting to Get Jealous

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Source – Throughout my professional life, I’ve tried to maintain a basic level of privacy. I come from humble roots, and I don’t seek to draw attention to myself. Apple is already one of the most closely watched companies in the world, and I like keeping the focus on our products and the incredible things our customers achieve with them.

At the same time, I believe deeply in the words of Dr. Martin Luther King, who said: “Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, ‘What are you doing for others?’ ” I often challenge myself with that question, and I’ve come to realize that my desire for personal privacy has been holding me back from doing something more important. That’s what has led me to today.

For years, I’ve been open with many people about my sexual orientation. Plenty of colleagues at Apple know I’m gay, and it doesn’t seem to make a difference in the way they treat me. Of course, I’ve had the good fortune to work at a company that loves creativity and innovation and knows it can only flourish when you embrace people’s differences. Not everyone is so lucky.

While I have never denied my sexuality, I haven’t publicly acknowledged it either, until now. So let me be clear: I’m proud to be gay, and I consider being gay among the greatest gifts God has given me.

I think I want to convert to gay.

Logically speaking, other than that whole AIDS thing, gay people have the best lives in the world.

They’re super like-able, energetic, wear ridiculous clothing, have tons of friends, throw crazy parties with blow, and as long as you don’t end up being one of those “bitchy gays”, these guys/gals are the best looking people on the planet.

There’s really nothing not to like.

Wonder what the process is for converting?

Is there an official group meeting in a neighborhood basement with other gays where you have to declare you’re considering dick in front of everyone?

Do you just pork someone in the butt and Snapchat it over to the leader for approval?

What do you have to do to be friends with the good looking gays and not the fat ugly ones that order ice cream delivery from Cold Stone?

I need to know.

I must have answers.

photo credit: andyi via cc